Sunday, July 24, 2011

It's Been a While... the Food's not a Problem, but it is a Concern

I guess it's been a while for me. Back here. Last time I had just finished my follow up, and it was a mere 2 lbs. I was going to say a disappointing 2 lbs.,but since then I have changed my mind. It is what it is. The scale is going to say what it's going to say, but what I'm focusing on now is how do I feel. If I feel good. If I am happy with how my legs and feet feel... then this is a success.

My follow-up with Dr. Primomo was good. He was supportive. When I asked him is it possible they did it wrong, and missed it? He laughed. We are good at what we do. Everyone who has this surgery loses weight. You will lose weight. At that point I let it go. God got me here, and he was going to keep me moving forward.

What was the most shocking thing post surgery was how little I could eat and drink. I knew I would have a smaller stomach, but it didn't equate to how little food I was going to be able to take in. It made me make thc connection that food is and was very psychological for me. I didn't just want and need to eat for nutrition; it was entertainment for me. And when I couldn't eat a full plate... I was disappointed. I felt like the Queen of England - we were not amused!

On an aside my parents were here for me for 3 weeks. They kept me sane before the surgery, and on track after the surgery. Thanks Mom and Dad! Thank you. Thank you! Thank you.

So what was I to do with this lack of entertainment? What and how would I amuse myself? I am continuing to figure that out. It's a process. Another thing for which I was not prepared, was the throwing up. I made it two weeks without throwing up. It's when I broke the strict liquid diet. I refused to stick to it, and I ate food. the food was GOOD! At first I was good; a couple of bites and I was satisfied. Mom's cooking was happening all over the place, and I didn't want to resist. I didn't resist. One day -- about 3 days in -- I ate too quickly, and probably too much, and it had to come up. The food sat on my chest like a ton of bricks and I didn't know what to do. I got the bright idea to regurgitate. And I did. That no one told me was that I would get sick if I didn't eat slowly, and stopped eating when I felt full. In the month since I've had the surgery, I have thrown up more than I have my whole life. I've thrown up at home, at work, in a restarant, you name it. The food has made its way from the inside to the outside quickly. I'm learning. But it's still a process. I threw up yesterday. You know what I've found the perfect food... sushi is the new perfect food. Small portions, flavorful and depending on what you get, kind of nutritious. I think Sushi is going to be my new go to food.