The Next Chapter

January 2010
My good friend Karen had been advocating for me to visit The Davis Clinic in Houston to start the process to have the gastric bypass. Dr. Schwartz had advocated for me to have weight loss surgery. I was going to a conference to learn more about weight loss surgery options. I did learn more. One thing I learned was that I was really fat, really fat. The coordinators of the conference didn't know, maybe they didn't care that where they were holding that night's conference was (at least to my very heavy legs) FAAARRRR, WAYYYY deep inside the hospital and a looong walk from the front door of the hospital in to the session. Sheesh! Anyone who made it to the conference without some trepidation DOES NOT qualify for weight loss surgery, dammit. Well at least in my humble opinion; because this sister? She made it BUT with much trepidation! I tell you no lie. Anyhoo... I liked what I heard: there were options - lap band, gastric, sleeve, a few others I don't remember them all. The surgeries have a significant amount of success, gastric bypass more so than the lap band. But there were a lot of choices for me. Next step see the doctor. I was on my way. And I told everybody, just about EVERYBODY, that I know because I was so damn sure that I was so damn ready.
I met Dr. Davis and I was so sure and ready that my mom came in from out of town to come to the appointment with me. Dr. Davis was errr... ummm... what are the right words here? Umm... he was a ahh... Ok, Ok I'll just say it. He was a jerk. At least to me. I had questions, lots of them, and then after that a few more questions. Well he took a look at me, ONE LOOK and said - why is this fat girl asking me this many questions? Does she not know that I am the best bariatric surgeon this side of the Mississippi, maybe the best EVER, and she needs what I got! ANALOGY ALERT: a bald guy does not walk in to the Hair Club for Men (oh great I probably now owe THEM money too) and ask a whole bunch of probing questions - will it hurt? will it grow? will it be long? short? blond enough? And not expect them to look at him sideways. You get it. They have hair, he has none. That's their business (they're don't only work there, they are also a customer.) Why else would he be there? I think that's where Dr. Davis was coming from. He didn't like the questions because he didn't see the point to the questions. I get it. But it didn't stop me from asking, and it should not have stopped him from answering. It was not a good meeting, but I got what I needed.
Next step was the nutrition classes and losing 10% of my current body weight; it was the only way that the doctor would approve me for the surgery. I had to be approved by both the doctor and Aetna - my insurance company. I 'm not yet going to say how many pounds 10% of my body weight was, but it was a considerable amount to me.
The next 90 days or so was a roller coaster of protein shakes and hamburgers. Not a good mix. Protein shakes was what I was supposed to have and cheeseburgers was what I was having to many of; and (surprise, surprise) not losing enough weight to meet that 10% goal. But I lost some. I did. Oh and in those 90 days I was to see a cardiologist, complete a sleep study and get clearance from a psychologist. What the pysch eval was to do was to ensure that I didn't think this surgery was a "magic bullet" or that I wasn't already a psychotic for whom this surgery or the transitions wouldn't drive me farther into psychosis. The cardiologist would clear me so that they had some assurances that I would croak in the OR (how very M.A.S.H. of me... OR.) The sleep study would provide additional proof that I had sleep apnea and if I didn't lose weight I would suffer the health results that come with sleep apnea. Let me tell you, more than anything those 3 appointments and what they meant - I was really sick, I was really crazy, this fat was really killing me. What tall that really meant I was not yet ready to face. So I scheduled appointments and canceled them. For over a year. Scheduled and canceled, Scheduled and didn't show up. Scheduled and canceled. Scheduled and canceled. Scheduled and canceled. You get it. I didn't show, didn't go and avoided like crazy. Maybe I just really needed to see that psychologist what do you think? Ok this is a good stopping place. The saga continues...